3 Characteristics to Look for in a Muslim Spouse

Finding a pious Muslim spouse can be like looking for a needle in a haystack. While we all dream of finding that “perfect” person, Islam gives us guidelines that we can use during our search. Here are 10 things to look for in a Muslim spouse. 

The Famous Hadith about Marriage

We’ve all heard the famous hadith about the four things a Muslim woman is married for. 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman; (otherwise) you will be a loser.” (Al-Bukhari)

How does this translate to today’s marriage process? And what else does Islam say about finding a spouse? 

The Pious Hearts team has compiled three important characteristics to look for in a spouse: 


1. Righteousness 


Righteousness means different things to different people. Oftentimes singles will only define righteousness by how much a person prays and fasts. 

But it doesn’t stop here. 

When you are looking for someone righteous, look at their character. How well do they treat others? Are they good to their family? Do they have a good relationship with their siblings? Are they involved in the community? 

All these are questions you should be asking yourself when searching for someone righteous. Prayer and fasting are at the top of the list, but righteousness encompasses so much more than performing Islamic rituals. 


2. Attraction 


Contrary to what many singles believe, Islam does say that we are allowed to find someone we are attracted to. Yes, your main focus should be the deen, but the attraction is also a very important part of marriage that should not be overlooked. 

On the authority of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: ‘If one of you proposes marriage to a woman, if he can look at her to see that which will encourage him to go ahead and marry her, then let him do so.’

Keep an open mind when it comes to the physical characteristics that you are looking for. Don’t make physical attraction your main focus, but also make sure that you have an attraction towards your future spouse. [LINK TO PREVIOUS POST]


3. Financial Responsibility 


While the first hadith we quoted mentions wealth, this should not be the only focus when looking for a spouse. It’s important to understand that while wealth isn’t the most important thing in a relationship, financial responsibility is an important factor when selecting a spouse. Islamically, it is the duty of the male to support his wife financially, but it is important for both men and women to make sure that they are compatible when it comes to spending and saving habits. This decreases the amount of financial stress that comes with financial decisions down the road in a marriage.