Challenges Finding Your Spouse in 2020: The Muslim Marriage Crisis
No matter where you live in the world today, or what part of society you are from, marriage has become one of the hardest things to achieve.
Could it be that living in the 21st century is a lot different than how it used to be 20 years ago? It seems like people back in the day were much more humble, welcoming, social, and most importantly, accepting.
If we’re not as social, or if we isolate ourselves and avoid gatherings, then how can we as Muslims find our other half?
What makes things more difficult is the fact that we aren’t supposed to date and we shouldn’t make close friendships with the opposite gender.
To make matters even more difficult, Muslims in America only make up 1.1% of the entire population. Talk about a needle in a haystack.
Since we’re so scattered throughout the country, the odds of being surrounded by many Muslims for some is close to impossible. And if you are surrounded by Muslims, your marriage options are typically really limited.
Needless to say, things are much different now. Parents tell their kids to find their spouse on their own but in a “halal” way, of course. What’s that supposed to mean for a single American-Muslim living in this society? What so-called “halal” options do singles have to find their Naseeb (the person you’re meant to be with)?
If you’re still in school or in a workplace, you may be lucky enough to meet a compatible Muslim for marriage. But this is not the case for the majority of the single Muslim population today. That’s why so many Muslim men and women end up resorting to what they feel like is their last option – apps and websites.
What’s most frustrating for the Muslims who are serious about getting married is the fact that a lot of people using these apps have no intention of getting married. Some just want temporary companionship, while others are just looking to “be friends”. This leaves the pious singles lost in a mix of swiping right and left, viewing hundreds upon hundreds of seemingly “good” profiles, only to find out that the person is not someone they can really settle down with.
I’ve heard of many horror stories from single friends, some who have even encountered people requesting money, texting inappropriate words, being led on only to be ghosted in the end, sharing nude photos, expecting sex as they get to know each other. The list can go on and on. I’m sure you or someone you know has had a similar experience…
I do believe it is okay to get to know someone for the intention of marriage with the permission of your parents/wali. Islam teaches us to go about things in a halal way, and Allah SWT by his grace will grant you a good spouse. The question is how?
If we look at non-Muslim’s here in the U.S, it seems like they’re always dating. Their options are very open. If it doesn’t work out with the first person, there are plenty of other people for them to go out with. After dating for however long, they decide to settle down. They might move in together for a few months or even years, then decide to take that next step. For Muslims, it starts with marriage. The commitment is huge. Both parties understand that the greater objective is coming together for something bigger, for the sake of Allah.
Marriage is part of faith and it is part of the sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW). Your intention should be looking for someone with whom you can build a family with. Marriage is a commitment and relationship that starts in this Dunya (world) and will continue InshaAllah in Paradise together.
If you’re uncomfortable with “halal” dating apps, or want to make sure that you find the person that is meant for you to be with, a better approach is to work with a Muslim matchmaker.
I know what you’re thinking. Matchmaker? Sounds so old school, right?
Let me explain.
Working with a Muslim matchmaker today is actually a much more modern approach to finding that special one. A lot of us already ask around to see if our friends or family members know of anyone suitable for marriage. And we only go to people who we know really know us and what we’re looking for. We want nothing but the best match for our deen and dunya. A matchmaker is no different. In fact, this person will probably be able to help even more than a friend or close family member.
- Muslim matchmakers are well connected. They work with and know of single Muslims across the US.
- They have your best interest at heart and want to see you married. You’re not an afterthought. After all, this is their job and they do what they love!
- You have a higher chance of matching with someone compatible. Muslim matchmakers will take the time to get to know you very well, and what you are looking for. They assess your needs and wants and try to find the best possible match for YOU.
At Pious Hearts, we only accept single Muslims who are serious about marriage and not looking to play games. For us it’s not about the number of people in our service it’s about quality.
We do not encourage dating in the modern sense, but we will connect people to get to know each other for the purpose of marriage. We are dedicated to solving this single Muslim marriage crisis and will only work with those who are serious and are looking for the same.
But Pious Hearts is more than just a Muslim matchmaking service.
You can expect guidance throughout the whole process while being in a safe private environment. Our Islamic life coaches, counselors, and matchmakers be there for you along the way.
After all, this is the person you are trying to decide whether you want to spend your life with. This spouse will help you steer your life in the right direction, build the family you have always dreamt of, and correct you when you deviate from the path of Islam. You need someone pious. Someone with a pious heart.
To learn more about how we can help you find your Naseeb, visit https://www.pioushearts.com/who-we-are/.