Top 5 Challenges of Being a Single Muslim Matchmaker
A guest blog by Mona, a Matchmaker for Muslim Singles.
Yes, you read the title right.
I am a single American-born Egyptian matchmaker.
I’ve been an admin for a matchmaking group called Egyptians Marriage in the United States for many years now. This is not a job, but a volunteer service that I have joined.
I love matching people.
To know that I was the one that helped begin a Muslim family is so rewarding.
But as rewarding and great as matchmaking can be, there are a lot of challenges that come with it.
Here are the top 5 challenges that I face as a single Muslim matchmaker.
Challenge #1 Being too picky
I would say my number one challenge is dealing with overly picky people.
What do I mean by overly picky?
People who set so many restrictions on what they are looking for, whether it’s age, education, profession, or appearances.
There is definitely nothing wrong with having preferences with what you are looking for in your future spouse, but I do also think it’s important to keep an open mind.
I remember having one client that was looking for someone under 28, a certain height, with a fair complexion, etc.
Challenge #2 Exchanging Pictures
The next challenge is exchanging pictures.
When I first started matchmaking, I would just send a picture of the person that I received first. This created some issues.
The person would see the picture and tell me that they are not interested and not send me their picture. Obviously, the person who sent their picture is not pleased. This is how I started my rule that I only do picture exchanges simultaneously.
This leads me to my next challenge relating to pictures… breaking the news to someone that the person I was trying to match them with does not want to move forward after seeing their picture. It hurts anyone’s ego to get rejected based off of looks, but I do think that is why it’s important to do the picture exchange first. If the person is very focused on the person’s looks then doing the picture exchange before any attachment occurs is the best way to go.
Challenge #3 Ghosting
What is “ghosting”?
Ghosting has become very popular in this day and age.
It’s when someone starts to get to know someone and then completely disappear without any communication as to why they don’t want to move on. This leaves the other person worried and confused, and in many cases very hurt.
I have had members completely ghost other members and completely disappear. The member being “ghosted” is left confused and hurt as to why there was such an abrupt end to the exchange.
In my opinion, “ghosting” is really immature and not necessary. It is much better to just explain to someone that you are not interested. I think it is always best to put yourself in the other person’s shoes before deciding to completely ignore someone. There is always a respectful and polite way to tell someone you are not interested.
Challenge #4 Dealing with Rude Members
I volunteer my time to help match people, and I am happy to do it.
It is frustrating though when people bark orders at you or get annoyed because I took some time to respond.
Some people act like they are paying me for this service and that I owe them something. This challenge has taught me to always be polite and show appreciation towards the matchmakers that reach out to me.
Challenge # 5 Matching Myself with a Member
Now what happens when I am matching people, and I meet someone that I think I may like.
Should I tell them? What will happen if it does not work out?
I was faced with this dilemma when I first started. I decided to get to know a member but unfortunately he ended up not being a good match. We were both mature adults about it and I went on to try to match him with several other people. I think it is important in our search to not take everything so personally. We could all benefit each other if we kept each other in mind. For example, maybe I was talking to someone that was not a good match for me, but I thought of a friend he could possibly match with. I feel like this process could be more productive if everyone went into it willing to help each other out.
What’s the Best Part of Being a Single Muslim Matchmaker?
Although there are many challenges involved with being a single matchmaker there are also benefits. The main one being that you can relate to your clients. Everyone knows how emotionally exhausting looking for a spouse can be. I always keep an open ear to listen to my clients and let them vent. Sometimes, they let me vent to them too.
People sometimes ask me why I’m a matchmaker when I’m single? Why don’t you focus your time searching for yourself? My response is that sometimes it’s easier to focus on helping other people instead of yourself! Also, I am doing this for the sake of Allah and hope to get my ultimate reward in the Hereafter.
Being a matchmaker is so rewarding. Some people are so nice and really make you feel like a rock star.
Besides people being very nice and appreciative, I have met some wonderful ladies that have become good friends. There is comfort in meeting people who are your same age that are also still single. We definitely support each other. No, there’s nothing wrong with any of us. We are all unique human beings that Allah has written our destiny for.
I’ve learned that marriage is definitely one of those things that we have to really put our trust in Allah for. I am not saying not to search for a spouse, and Allah is going to drop your naseeb at your doorstep, but we have to do our part in searching and then leave the rest up to Allah. He knows who is best for us and when it is best for us to meet that special one.
I’ll end my post with a quote that really resonates with me: ‘Happily single until what I prayed for finds me.’
Thank you for reading.